THE WEAVERS NEST

USELESS INVENTIONS

I have my own list of pet peeve useless inventions, but I think these two new ones take the piss (pardon the pun) a bit.

I present, EXHIBIT A: The Loo Reader

 

THE LOO READ: This ridiculous gadget is supposed to be 'perfect for reading papers in the loo'. Available in broadsheet or tabloid versions, it seems you can also use it to 'do puzzles or apply your make-up'. It 'provides a platform for almost anything'. £59.99, www.lazyboneuk.com .

Hmm - yes, I see. And even more handy is the fact that if you find yourself in a cubicle with no toilet paper, you can then use the choice article you have just read, and wipe your sweet cheeks with it.

EXHIBIT B: The Thumb Thingy

 

THUMBTHING: Billed as 'a brilliant new invention for reading books', it's a device that you clip over your thumb so you can read with just one hand - and eat or hopefully do something more productive with the other. £8.76 for pack of four, www.thumbthing.com

Ah yes! Every one needs a pack of 4! Seeings as we only have 2 thumbs. Brilliant.

Who comes up with these things? And why? 

I have 2 fave useless inventions, that have made it really big. So some dude made seeeriouss bucks from inventing these 2 useless (in my humble opinion) inventions.

No 1: The travellator thingy. Only ever seen at airports. In the widest of spaces. Where you have room for 2 travellator thingys going in opposite directions PLUS oodles of room for the gazillions of people who choose not to travel on the travellator thingy. Now escalators I understand. They take you somewhere at least - either up or down a level. But the travellator? What is the point?? They don't even travellate you right to the gate at the airport. They are just randomly placed, in the middle of nowhere, for a very short section. Have you ever noticed, where they are, that they are usually empty and everyone is choosing to walk? Duh - I wonder why.... maybe because THEY.DO.NOTHING!!! NOTHING!! 

No.2: Nappy bins. These have to be the **kakkest** invention ever! (You see what I did there?) I remember getting one of these items at my baby shower. Man - I was excited. I mean - wow - a nappy bin! Sounds good on paper - you push used nappy into the bin that very neatly wraps it and seals it in the bin below. Et Voila! Stinky nappy gone to the conundrums without you having to walk it to the outside bin, right? WRONG!!! Fast forward 20 stinky nappies over several days. Firstly, you notice an odd odour when you walk into the nursery. You think, what could that be? Surely it's not that AWESOME nappy wrapping bin sitting so innocently in the corner? So you decide to walk closer, sniffing the air, which is getting more pungent the closer you get. You innocently open the lid and....oh-my-sweet-heavens-above!!! There aint NOTHING sweet coming from that bin! And then you have to empty the bin that has 4 days worth of festering nappies in it... really, WHAT.IS.THE.POINT??? I would far rather walk a fresh nappy to the outside bin daily, than walk a smouldering, stenching bag of stale nappies to the bin 4 days later!

So - what useless inventions get your goat? Do reveal the ones that you feel are as useful as a Solar Powered Torch. Or a Black Highlighter pen. Or a seat belt for Motorbikes. Or a pedal powered wheel chair. I could go on....

 

SHAKIRA...

SHAKIRA,SHAKIRA,SHAKIRA........oh, she of great lyrics!

I thought she couldn't top her previous lyrical genius, but I was wrong! Remember her song "Wherever, whenever" Great song, love bopping along to it... but could not bring myself to utter such lyrics as:

"Lucky that my breasts are small and humble, so you won't mistake them for mountains" Um. Yes.

And now, her latest song "She-Wolf" - again, great tune, but I cannot utter these lyrics:

"I'm starting to feel just a little abused like a coffee machine in an office"

Now I'm not so lucky as to even have a coffee machine in my office, but let me tell you - if I did: I wouldn't abuse it!

What lyrics irritate you?

And whilst on the subject of lyrics and singing along, have you ever got the lyrics realllly wrong? Embarrasingly so? I have!

Here are 2 beauties:

Bananarama: I'm your venus - there was me on school tour singing along : "I'm your p.e.n.i.s, I'm your fire, your desire" Yeah - I know. (P.e.n.i.s is written this way to stop google from sending me people searching for such items)

And the second one : "I shot the sherriff, but I did not shoot the deputy" = real lyrics.

My version?? " I shot the sherriff, but I did not shoot him dead, you see."

And then theres always The Killers .... are we human, or are we dancer/denser/ prancer/ or rudolph or dasher even.... hahahahaha, am sooooo funny! Well - it's almost christmas, so I can throw in a reindeer joke, mkay?

TWINS?

I have a small age gap between my 2nd and 3rd child, theres no denying that. However, it has never been that noticable as Luke has always looked that much younger than Emily because he has been a baby and she has been a toddler. But now he is two. And he is a big boy. And Emily is 3. And she is a small girl. The difference between the two is not so evident anymore.

Today we were at the park. I was pushing Luke and Emily on the swings, when a complete stranger came up to me and said " Are these gorgeous twins yours?" I was miles away, thinking of something else, so I absently just said "no", because I thought she must be talking about some other kids, as the last time I checked, I definately did not have twins. "Well, who's are they then?" she asked. I then decided to pay attention, and said "Who? What? Oh! They're mine, but they're not twins." She looked at me strangely and walked off! Ooops!

And then I looked at my two on the swings and thought: Blimey! They DO look like twins! But only in appearance. If you hear them talk then it is quite clear that Emily is older, but in physical appearance... they could pass for twins. Of course, the fact that Emily decided to raid Lukes wardrobe this morning and wear his brand new Ben 10 shorts and his T-shirt (because she can!) doesn't help to disguise the fact that she is 16 months older!

Here are the 2 monkeys being VERY uncooperative, hence the k*k photos:

 

 

A BIT MORE ON JACARANDA TREES...

... so - we are not quite finished on the Jacaranda Tree issue! A friend of mine, who read this post, got on the blower to me immediatly and accused me of being all grown-up! I mean really! How childish of her. Calling me a grown-up?

Any-hoo - she DID have a point! Because it seems that in the "few" years that have elapsed since I was last a student, I have completely forgotten the real meaning of a flowering Jacaranda tree. You see - they are not beautiful at all. They do not signify anything beautiful about spring or summer... their flowering can mean only one thing: da-da dah: EXAMS!!!

The Jacaranda Tree is also known as the Exam tree. And there are many superstitions surrounding this Exam Tree too.

In SA, the academic year follows the calendar year, so all students should have their noses in books by Sept/Oct to prepare for the final exams that will take place in November.

Hence the Jacaranda Tree is called the Exam tree. And the superstitions say that if you have not started studying by the time the Jacaranda Tree flowers, then you are in big trouble. And if you have not started studying by the time the Jacaranda Tree has dropped its purple carpet on the ground, then you will fail.

And the biggie... should a Jacaranda flower drop on your head when you are on your way to an exam ( oh-me-shattered-nerves)... then that was a certain sign from above that you would fail the exam!!

So every route to write an exam had to be carefully planned so as not to allow a Jacaranda flower to land on ones head!!!

And now people... I feel old!! Because all I can see in Jacaranda Trees is beauty! Or maybe I mistook my  fast beating pulse upon a Jacaranda siting for beauty, when in fact it was my sub conscious memory remembering the fear of exams...

Anyway - all I can say is, thank heavens my exam days are over... and GOOD LUCK to very one who will be writing exams soon! x

WHY I LOVE THIS TIME OF YEAR...

 

... in the Southern Hemisphere:

• Summer is in the air...you can smell it. It smells like Jasmine, blossoms, braai"s (BBQ's), Sun-cream, Chlorine, that fresh smell after an awesome thunderstorm.
• The end of the year is approaching, with the excitement of christmas.
• The entertaining starts - almost every weekend gets booked up until christmas. And whilst this is exhausting in itself, it is also so lovely to catch up with friends.
• The late night swims.

But mostly, I have been  noticing a lot of these:

Those are Jacaranda trees. How gorgeous are they? They flower in Spring and into early Summer, showing lush mauve colours in contrast to the green foliage. And when the flowers drop, they leave a mauve carpet on the ground.

We live about 20 km's from Pretoria, which is known as the Jacaranda City.

Every day as I drive home from school, I drive through an avenue of Jacaranda Trees. It makes me happy! I don't know why, but it does!

What makes you happy at this time of year?

If we were still in England, what would make me happy at this time of year? Probably the excitement of the build-up to christmas. I love Christmas. But I love christmas more in the northern Hemisphere. The atmosphere is better. The decorations are better... it just feels more festive when its cold. And - just like I love my pool here at this time of year, I loved my central heating just as much in the UK at this time of year! I would firmly attach myself to a radiator and hover there until at least May! x

CHRISTMAS CARDS...

...for the past 6 years, I have done photo christmas cards. They are fun to do, and even nicer to keep and look back on as the years pass.

Well - it's just about that time of year again, when I need to think about our 2009 christmas card.

BUT... I need your advice:

Firstly:

These are our christmas cards over the years:

2003: Just one cheeky Santa, Ryan 3 months old

2004: Still one cheeky Santa, Ryan 15 months old

2005: Still one cheeky Santa, Ryan 2 yrs 3 months (Bun no.2 in the oven)

2006: Oh look - 2 cheeky Santas! Ryan 3 yrs, Emily 7 months

2007: Oh my: THREE cheeky santas! Ryan, 4yrs, Emily, 18 months and wee Luke, 6 weeks old

2008: Phew - still 3 cheeky Santas: Ryan 5 yrs, Emily, 2 and a half and Luke 1 yr

SO - 2 bits of assvice please:

1.) For our 2009 card - do I include the parents, or stick with the 3 kids theme?

2.) I would like to display all our christmas cards, in a frame or something.... how do you suggest I do this? ( This question is especially posed at all my clever scrap booking friends... I want to display them in sequence)

Before answering question1 - please bear in mind that i want to display the cards together... so will randomly adding the parents into the mix look odd, should I rather just keep to the 3 kids?

Ta x

ONE COMPLETELY OVER-EXCITED BOY...

...and one very unmotivated blogger!

But first - the over-excited boy! Something MAJORLY HUGE happened to him yesterday! Something he has been waiting for, for ages! Something which has happened to every boy in his class....except him! And then, yesterday morning, he bit into an apple....and: IT HAPPENED!

Now what could this very exciting , long awaited occasion possibly be? HE LOST HIS FIRST TOOTH! This is huge for him! He has been waiting a very long time to lose a tooth, and has patiently waited as all the other boys and girls lost their first tooth.... and then their second.... and then some more.... What can I say? The poor boy takes after his mother and is clearly a late bloomer.

So he is overjoyed by this, and I am quite relieved! Because for years we have been spinning the story to him that if he doesn't brush his teeth every night, they will fall out. So a few months ago, he proudly announced to us that he was no longer brushing his teeth, as he WANTED them to fall out, just like his friends! So - we had to re-spin the story saying the bugs will EAT your teeth unless you brush them, and then if they have been eaten, then there is no tooth to fall out, and leave under your pillow for the tooth fairy.

And - speaking of tooth fairies... what is the going rate for a tooth these days? AND - to all the experienced tooth fairies... what exactly do you do with the tooth once you have collected it? Do you throw it away or keep it? I really hope you all say "throw it away", as I have 3 children, and I don't fancy having three full sets of teeth in my cupboard one day!

Here is a snap of toothless boy, with his tooth under his pillow, waiting for the tooth fairy:

 

And secondly...the unmotivated blogger....ME!

In case you hadn't noticed, I am not blogging much of late. And I'm not really sure why. I just don't have the desire to do it at the moment. I am very busy, but then - I actually am always busy, so that's a poor excuse. Also - I hate the "busy" excuse. Because I firmly believe that if you want to do something, you make the time for it.

 So - is my lack of blogging speaking volumes by its silence then? Is it time to hang up my blogging boots?  Or is it just end of the year burn out? I know a few of us are feeling like this in the blogging community, so maybe its just a time of year thang.... I dunno. Time will tell. 

I will keep you posted... but don't hold your breath, kay? (Cos you might just turn blue waiting)
 

GOOGLE...

...time again!

OK - so a while ago, I wrote this post and I said that I would revisit this periodically, as the google monster just keeps on sending people to my blog who have typed in quite random searches.

I thought I needed a light and humorous post today as my blog has been a bit sickly sweet of late... and I'm really more of a comedy gal, so - here goes:

These are some Google searches that landed on The Weavers Nest in the past 6 months:

1.) Dudes in underwear     Yeah, I hope you're a girl-google-searcher and sorry for you - no dudes in underwear here.Well, no grown-up dudes anyway.

2.) Killer dancer    Oh yes, thats me! This person has obvioulsy seen me throwing shapes on the dance floor on a Saturday night. Or not.

3.) Weaver bird curtains    Really? You want weaver birds on your curtains? I'm sure granny has some stashed away from 1953 that you can borrow

4.) When does a new moon come out?    When I bend over in the shower. Just. Kidding!!! Go and ask an astronomer type person

5.) Things parents say to kids "and thats final"    Yeah - I say that a lot. And thats final.

6.)Short haired french granny with big bush    I'm speechless... ke?

7.)When does morning sickness start?     The minute you start throwing up

8.) Marmite Liver Yes, my liver quite possibly was made of marmite when I was pregnant as it was all I wanted to consume

9.)So tell me how you doing     Very well thanks, thanks for asking. (Why on earth would you do a google search for this? The mind boggles)

10.) Hair disaster Yes - we've had a few in our time. Good luck with yours.

11.) Inside a Weaver Nest     Feel free to come and look anytime. It's quite roomy, a bit messy but always welcoming

12.)Scientific proof that Santa exists   Really. REALLY??? Oh screw it... buy a ticket to disney land, ensuring you route yourself via Lap land. There in the cold and snow, once you've past the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairies castle, you'll see a modest house with elves and reindeer around. That scientifically proves that it is santas house, kay?

13.)Can girls pee standing up? Well, my 3 year old sure can. But for scientific proof, why not ask a feminist how she urinates.

14.)When was Jesus born?     Again..... SPEECHLESS

15.)Snake was preparing to eat woman Unlucky for that woman, the snakes on my blog only eat still born piglets

16.)Pixie and Mark     Huh??

17.) Why do men have nipples?   Why do you get directed to my blog? These are all good questions, and nobody knows the answers

18.)How to get pregnant    I'm not really sure.... it just happened

19.) Why is my bearded dragon turning black?   When did you last feed it? Has it moved? It could in fact be dead!

20.)Is it impossible for me to be pregnant?     Take it from me, it's never impossible

21.) How does birth control work?    Pretty much the same way as abstinence. Except abstaining isn't always required.

And thats all, folks. Hope it raised a smile on an otherwise, Blue Monday

 

MY BABY BOY IS TWO TOMORROW!

I cannot believe that my baby is going to be two! I actually feel quite heart -sore about this. Not about the fact that he is two - because I honestly LOVE this age that he's at, but more because I can see my children growing up right in front of my very eyes and theres absolutely nothing I can do about it. Time marches on, and they continue to grow like weeds. (We don't get any older though, of course.)

I feel like my baby is slipping through my fingers, and I so want to just freeze the frame!

This is the perfect age, in my opinion! He is done with teething, he sleeps through the night, he can mostly tell me what he wants, he LOVES life, he loves cuddles...he is perfectly gorgeous. So I think I'll keep him at this stage for a while longer, thank you Father Time and Mother nature!

Oh - I wish it was just as simple as that! Simple enough to merely ask that they stay babies until you have had your baby-fix and are 100% done with all things baby! But sadly, it cannot be done and my baby must move on.

This moment feels so bitter-sweet for me. When I was in the thick of babies, with a newborn in the pram, a 16 month old on the hip and a 4 year old holding up the rear, Iused to long for the day when my children would be more independant and I would have a nano-second to myself.

And now I feel like I am on the brink of being at that place that I so longed for... and I realise it's not where I want to be at all! I have had a permanent baby on my hip for the last 6 years, and whilst being here feels quite liberating in one way, I feel a tinge of sadness too!

HOWEVER - before any of you start mentioning baby no.4 (that thud you just heard was husbank passing out at the mere thought...) - the reason why I feel so nostalgic is because I know I won't be re-visiting the newborn stage again.

Our family is complete as a family of 5. I love having my magical 3, I have been blessed 3 x over with my troop, and I am looking forward to our family unit growing up together.

So as my baby boy reaches this 2 year mark, I can reflect on the past six fruitful, joyous and happy years, and fondly remember them all.... and wish my baby boy well as he now morphs into a big boy in front of us!

Lukey, my sweetheart, our bonus baby - you will never know the utter joy that having you has brought to our lives. You complete our family. You are an utter delight and I love seeing the world through your young eyes.

Happy, happy 2nd birthday our sweet boy! Stay as cute and cuddly as you are, 'cos thats the way Mama likes it!

 

BALLITO BAY...

...it's a bit special.

And it's especially special to me.

My first family holiday in Ballito was when I was just seven years old. My dad liked it so much, that he promptly bought the holiday house that we were staying in! And so began our love affair with this special sea-side town.

Back in the day, it really was a sleepy little place that came alive during holiday season. Over the years, we have watched it grow. And I have grown up with it, as it has grown into a bustling coastal hot spot, with both residential and holiday homes.

I so fondly remember my summer holidays spent on the beach as a little girl. Walking down to the beach, bucket and spade in hand...building castles in the sand with my sisters, going crab hunting at night with my Dad... armed with a torch and a quick pair of legs; swimming far out in the surf, thanks to the sand bank... and the odd rescue from the life guard!

And as the years went by and I grew into a teenager, my memories change more to spotting the local "surfer-boy" talent on the beach, going out to all the beach parties, being denied access to "Mr B's" the local night club! Oh - how my little heart would break when my sisters used to sail past the bouncers at the door, and I would always get stopped, and have to go home on my own! (Oh the curse of looking like you're 12 when you're really 16 but trying very hard to be 21!!)

And then one of my most memorable holidays, when I was 17. It was my turn to bring a friend with me on holiday. And so my friend Mandy joined me on holiday! We were blessed with 3 wonderful weeks of amazing weather, we tanned all day, partied most nights, I won the annual fun-run, we met lots of boys...I was growing up!

And then onto University and the student holidays at the coast! No parents, no curfew, no rules! How cool.

And now - returning to this same special beach, which has changed so much yet still remains the same - now introducing my own children to the magic of Ballito Bay, and all it offers. I feel I have almost come full circle! For I am now, once more, walking down to the beach, bucket and spade in hand, building castles in the SAME sand that I built them in nearly 30 years ago!

How my children cried when we had to come home today! I remember doing the same thing when we used to have to come home!

We had a lovely, lovely time! The weather wasn't always kind to us, and both Husbank and I had some illness to contend with... but it didn't dampen the spirits of the Weavers on vacation!

I love the beach, I love the sea. I have always thought that I would want to live near the sea one day. But now I wonder... would it still be as magical if I could use it every day?

**Holiday pics to follow**